But we are not together though……

You guys have been dating for months. He seems to be perfect and you just know things are getting serious. Generally you guys talk on a regular (there has been a few days where you did not hear from him but he seemed to have a valid excuse.) . You guys are spending time together and even take cute selfies together sometimes . He even takes you around some of his friends or even family. You talk about a future and even the big “L” word may have slipped out from both of your mouths once or twice. You get attached he is doing everything right and so are you. Sounds perfect !

Then one day things start to change he is not attentive as he usually is and he seems to be drawing away. You put up with it for a couple days but you grow frustrated and a bit combative about the situation. You even begin to notice he is a little flirtatious with other women. 932393188-i-know-were-not-datingYou know should calm down and then approach him with this but of course emotions kick in and you just go off. You bring all your concerns to his attention and his response although you technically know it to be the truth stings like a dagger.

“We are not together. Therefore you can not have these expectations of me I do not have to do anything . What I do is none of your business. “

Your hurt. You just kind of assumed and as for him why did he just lead you on.

 Assumptions are never the safe route to go especially when feelings are involved. This is definitely the type of situation where you should not blindly trust that the other party wants the same thing that you do.  It is important to ask the proper questions in the beginning and be upfront with what you want and what you are looking for. If a person does not align with what you want you can let it go early on and save your self the emotional roller coaster down the road. If you are dating someone and they can not tell you where they see things going and you have expressed your expectations and they are not willing to go along with them and they in response stop talking to you then that awesome. Sometimes the ones that you do not need in your life will extract themselves because you have made it clear what you want and they are not up for the challenge. Also there are times where the man is honest upfront about this and we choose to ignore it. You can not get upset when someone is giving you the answer to the question but you think that you can try things your way and still get the right solution. You are waiting for something that is not gonna happen.

Of course it is not right for someone to blatantly lead you on. But at least attempt to date smart . Ask questions and set expectations and let rotten apples weed themselves out. The wrong one is not going to want to do all that work and will remove themselves from the race. However the right one will see that you are their reward and rise to the occasion.

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