An Open Letter to the friends of this introvert

Dear friends of mine,
My family always jokes about how when I was a little girl and the other kids would come knock on my door to see if I wanted to play that I would tell my grandmother to tell them I was sleeping so I would not be coming outside. Majority of my life I have been this way pretty much avoiding the crowd . This is not because I am being anti social which is a big misconception of introverts but simply because I really love my solitude.

As an introvert it is has always been hard to organically meet friends mainly  because we do not go out often places to where a lot of mingling is involved.  And trust me being friends with an introvert is not something that people tend to gravitate to so I never was really bothered by people anyway. I have met a few associates along the way in life however when I turn down invites to their social events on multiple occasions they feel as though I am snubbing them, they do not realize that I am simply  not always comfortable being around crowds but that has nothing to do with me enjoying our one on one time. Or because they do not hear from me as often as they feel they should then they feel I am purposely ignoring them which of course is not true most of the time I am just in my own little world doing my own thing. So eventually I accepted that the maybe the whole friendship thing was not for me.  However the older I have gotten and have begun to mature I have realized how important it is to have healthy meaningful friendships. Although I do enjoy my alone time, there are times where  I do crave some sort of human interaction. I use to think that I did not “need” any friends ; never the less I  now more than ever see how wrong I was.

I can now say that I am lucky enough to have three very different but close friends. Ironically the one that I have been friend with the longest (over ten years now) is another introvert. Strangely our friendship works because since we both enjoy our solitude there is not much maintenance needed to maintain our friendship. We rarely talk or see each other but we are always there for each other when it counts.When we do spend time together it usually always just the two of us. My other two friends are more outgoing than me. One has influenced me to get out my shell a little  by getting me out the house from time to time because of her I have gone on multiple group camping trips attended Fourth of July and super bowl parties and although I was highly uncomfortable at first literally had a blast each time. Our friendship works because she over the year has recognized my limits and has never got offended when I was not up for an invitation she gives me my space and more or less allows me to come to her but always makes me feel welcomed.  And lastly there is my friend who is a bit more extroverted. We do not see each other but we usually text each day. She pushes me to be different and better and to mentally break from my shell she inspired to try new things and helps me to see things from a different perspective. I feel like sometimes we serve as a good balance for each other.

 There are many people who will come and go in your life and not everyone is meant to be considered a friend some people are simply associates. 

A true friend sincerely wants the best for you even when you don’t want the best for yourself.

A true friend tells you the truth whether or not you want to hear it.

A true friend never judges you but they will tell you if a decision your making is out of line.

A true friend does not always take your side but always has your back

 To my very limited friends who have stayed around and put up with my little introverted quirks  you have taught me not only these things about friendship  but  about a  lot of other life lesson I would not have learned by keeping to myself .

Thank You ,

Nicole 

 

 

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